Las Vegas: The Adult Disney World

This is my most tourist-y/ instagram-ish photo from Vegas.

This is my most tourist-y/ instagram-ish photo from Vegas.

Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to report that we have officially returned from the Bachelorette-Las-Vegas-Britney-Spears-Weekend-Extravaganza without anyone getting stuck on a roof or getting themselves on the no-fly list, which I think makes it a success. We had an amazing, whirlwind of a weekend and I think it was well worth the trip. This was my first visit to Las Vegas, and while several different people tried to tell me what to expect, Vegas is most definitely one of those places you have to see to believe. As a Vegas-Newbie, I think I made the following comments about 100 times each while we were there:

1. “Why is everything SO HUGE?!” – Like, actually though. Everything there is unnecessarily large. You’re at one hotel and you’re like, “Oh the Bellagio is right next door, let’s just walk.” And then 20 minutes and half a mile of walking later you are no closer to getting there than when you started. All you’ve done is walk by like 10,000 people, a bunch of casinos, bars, and some over-the-top hotel decor involving fake flowers. Lesson learned: just because your hotel is on the strip does NOT mean you should walk anywhere.

2. “How do we even get of here?! Is there a door to the outside world? HELP!” – All hotel/casinos in Vegas are black holes of food, adult beverages, gambling, and stores. There are no clocks, no windows, and no exit signs because they want you to get lost. It’s intentionally confusing. They’re hoping that after half an hour of unsuccessful searching for the door, you will just give up and stay at their casino. Example: Darcie and I got lost at the Venetian. We called the other group, who we planned to meet outside the Grand Lux Cafe. We got there, didn’t see them. Called them, they said they were there. Turns out – there’s TWO Grand Lux Cafes in the same darn hotel. With the same name. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIND ANYONE, LAS VEGAS?! I’m from Maine, I get lost easily in urban settings. They were setting me up for a loss on that one.

A picture of the wolf pack pre-getting lost at the Venetian.

A picture of the wolf pack pre-getting lost at the Venetian.

3. “Why is everything inside a hotel?”– Apparently, nothing in Vegas is in its own building. Every restaurant, club, or tourist attraction we went to was inside of a hotel. I’m pretty sure you could go to Las Vegas and never actually go outside, which seems like a waste of sunny, 80 degree weather to me. It reminded me of this swim meet we used to go to every summer in St. John, New Brunswick where the hotel was connected to the pool by this walking tunnel so we wouldn’t go outside for basically the entire meet. Except there they built it like that because it’s Canada and it’s cold, so it made more sense.

4. “This is like Disney World for Adults.” – Las Vegas is the most American city of all time, in that you can visit attractions from all over the world without ever having to leave the comfort and safety of the good ole US of A. You can see the pyramids (the Cesaer’s Palace version anyways) without having to encounter someone who doesn’t speak English. Or you can see the Eiffel Tour and the canals of Venice at the same time while making your way to lunch at Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar and Grill!” It’s a consumer-friendly version of traveling the world. Also, if the architects of Las Vegas know one thing, it is how to take a theme and go ALL OUT. You asked for bar with a chandelier theme – you got a 5 story night club INSIDE of a crystal chandelier. Looking at you Cosmopolitan . . . Las Vegas reminds me of the Rain Forest Cafe at Disney, where even the menu items are renamed with puns like “Python Pasta” or “Gorilla Grilled Cheese Delight.” Really, every restaurant, ride, and store at Disney is like that. It is also like that in Vegas. Basically, Las Vegas is not a town, as much as it is a theme park. What I’m getting at here is that it was wicked fun for a vacation trip, but I think I would find living there overwhelming.

5. “OH MY GOD! We’re at Britney Spears! Like that is Britney Spears right there! This is my 1st grade dream come true!” – I shouted this at Kathleen, the other little sister of the crowd, repeatedly while we were at the concert. Any time we weren’t singing along with Brit’s greatest hits, I was saying any combination of these statements. The concert was the highlight of the trip. Britney was FABULOUS. She did not disappoint. She didn’t sing much, but she did what she does best – entertain. The sets were amazing, the back-up dancers were great, and she changed outfits pretty much every other song. As I think I have mentioned before (but it’s hilarious so I’m bringing it up again, sorry I’m not sorry Darcie), my sister spent most of our formative years in faux-leather pants and a head-set lip-syncing to B. Spears in our living room; I cannot think of a better way to send her off into married life at a Britney concert, also in faux-leather pants.

That's Britney, rolling around on that stage somewhere.

That’s Britney, rolling around on that stage somewhere.

So that was my Las Vegas experience in a nut shell. It was the bachelorette weekend of a lifetime. And if you thought that I didn’t learn any important financial lessons while I was in Vegas – think again! My next post will be about unexpected travel expenses and how to avoid them. I was just too excited about Britney to fit all that into this post. 🙂

If you're having trouble reading this guy's mohawk, it says "Britney, Piece of Me." The other side had the full "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign. #dedication

If you’re having trouble reading this guy’s mohawk, it says “Britney, Piece of Me.” The other side had the full “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign. #dedication

P.S. The end of the bachelorette means that this wedding is only 5 weeks away. And I have a bridal shower to throw in less than a month. EEK!



One thought on “Las Vegas: The Adult Disney World

  1. Oh, baby! What a trip! Kudos from the person who actually bought the headset that a couple of these character used to lip-sync along with Britney!

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