Today is National Dog Day. And although my 12 year-old yellow lab lacks the ability to read, what he does have is a keen sense of sarcasm. So what better way to honor him than by writing a post detailing all of the reasons why he is, in fact, the greatest dog to have ever lived?
10 Reasons Why Bode is Cooler than Your Dog:
1. He’s photogenic. Just look at his face. LOOK AT IT. If you could snuggle this photo, you would. Don’t lie.
2.He’s a creep. And he embraces it. Bode is always lurking somewhere, just casually staring you. Like you’ll let him outside, won’t see him for a while, and then you’ll just look out the window to see him staring at you like this . . .
3. He loves my mom. Bode has an undying loyalty to this woman. His only goal in life is to be as close as possible to her at all times. He will do whatever it takes to succeed.
4. He enjoys a good cuddle! Bode will snuggle with you any time, any where. Probably even if you didn’t want to snuggle. Most likely even more so if you’re afraid of dogs and you tried to resist him. And 100% if you sit on the floor, you will cuddle with him. You have no choice. Why would you sit down there if you didn’t want him in your lap?
5. He appreciates a good fort. Bode’s hobbies include eating, sighing loudly for no reason, and squishing himself under furniture. I’m not really sure how he fits under my parent’s coffee table. He just does. And it’s adorable. But the real hilarity ensues when he tries to get out. How he moves is best described by the word “scuttling.” He looks like a crab.
6. He looks good human clothes. Slippers? Don’t mind if I do! Hats? Certainly, good sir. Bode looks dapper no matter what accessories you force him to wear. But I think it’s the slight look of, “Must you really, with the clothes and the photos? Psh, humans,” in his eye that really pulls his looks together.
7. He’s sassy. As a puppy, Bode once ran up behind my mom and jumped a solid 3 feet into the air, just so he could nip her on the bum. Then there was the time that my sister tried to give him a treat and he rejected it. He took the treat in his mouth, gave her the hairy eye-ball, then actually tossed his head and released the treat back at her. He’s always judging and always dolling out the sass.
8. He’s surprisingly good at catching things. One time, one of our neighbors free range chickens roamed a little too far down their driveway, and Bode caught him. He picked the chicken right up in his mouth, but gently so he teeth didn’t dig into him. And then he came running towards us all proud, showing off. My mom saved the chicken and brought him back to his home, but he might have died from a heart attack shortly afterward.
9. He’s majestic. Most of the time he’s a total goofball, but every now and then he will catch you off guard and look like one of those dogs in the lab calendars we’re always buying my mom for Christmas (she likes those, right?).
10. He’s just an all around good boy. And that’s all there is to it. As much as I may complain that he smells or licks my face while I’m sleeping or gets little white hairs all over my clothes, he is the best dog in the world. And I love him.
In conclusion, your dog is probably pretty great, but my dog is better. Happy National Dog Day, to all my four-legged friends out there.