I’m not going to lie, I was feeling uninspired at best about today’s blog. I have writer’s block. Or blogger’s block, maybe. Whatever you want to call it, I have spent all morning mulling over possible ideas for this post. NONE of them were any good. They all seemed boring, unhelpful and, worst of all, un-write-able (that’s not a word, but let’s pretend it is).
Then I jokingly suggested to a coworker that I should write a blog about having nothing to write about. She laughed it off and said, “I’m not sure that’s a great idea.” Which made me think, “It’s not even the worst idea I’ve had all day!” So, just to give everyone a good laugh, I have complied the following list of some of my worst ideas for blog posts today. Things that I should never, ever, ever . . . LIKE EVER actually write about on this blog.
5 Terrible Ideas I Had for Blog Posts:
1. How my desk is the best place to hide and take a nap.
It’s the perfect fort. On days when I’m really tired, I seriously consider curling up under it and taking a nap. I think if I tucked my chair in just right no one would notice me. And really, would anyone miss me for an hour or so? They’ll probably just think I’m at a meeting or running an errand. I just want the desk-nap-fort to be a real thing.
2. My love of One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer.
You might be judging my taste in music right now, but I do not care. The love is real. So real that I might frighten people away from ever reading this blog again if I go into too much detail. Also I already talk about these two bands far too much in my everyday life, so I have nothing to say in essay-form that I haven’t already told everyone I know a billion times. If you ever just want to talk about Harry Styles’s man bun or how 5SOS is not a boy band, come find me.
3. How the children’s version of food is always better than the adult version.
Chobani Champions is hands down the best Greek yogurt out there. My Little Pony fruit snacks are infinitely better than any organic “fruit leather” I have ever had (probably because they always actually taste like leather.) And similarly, while plain milk is delicious, chocolate milk the best thing IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. It is a little-known fact that things manufactured to be placed in lunch boxes and consumed by 7 year-olds during recess taste infinitely better to me than their adult counterparts. I realize that this is probably because of the added sugar, but I don’t care. Just let me eat my Lunchables in peace.
4. A list of the best things children have ever said to me.
This might actually be a really great post and not a terrible one. I can’t decide. I have coached swimming for several years now so my list of weird/funny/ridiculous things little kids have said to me is pretty fantastic. I think my all time favorite was during a game of Marco Polo when a 10 year-old boy got tagged and in response to me saying, “Oh, no! You’re it!” he replied, “That’s the risk you take when you’re a free man.” He was 100% serious. The trouble with the post is that it might also reveal how much I make fun of the kids I coach (which is a lot). In my defense, they love my jokes. I think . . .
5. My life-long dream for my coworker to get a puppy at the same time she has her baby.
I realize that this is a lot to ask. Having a newborn baby is enough work without also having a new puppy. But it would be worth it because it will be ADORABLE. We could take photos of them napping together and become Instagram famous. She keeps saying her cats will snuggle her baby but even if that were true (which it’s not because cats are evil) it’s just not the same. There’s something about the idea of a baby and a puppy growing up together as best friends that just warms my heart. Here is photographic evidence of that fact: http://www.buzzfeed.com/allstatenewhousehold/definitive-proof-that-puppies-and-babies-make-adorable-sibli
In conclusion, I hope next week to be back in action with a helpful blog post. Maybe even one that has to do with finance. Don’t set your expectations too high, though. :)